Hi there, I’m Cara!

I wasn’t raised in the Church, but I found my way into Evangelicalism at age 11, searching for belonging. And I found it—for a while. I became the ultimate “religious good girl”: purity ring, daily devotionals, on fire for God.

I went on to become a youth pastor, earned my master’s in Soul Care, and even trained as a spiritual director while still fully immersed in the church.

But along the way, the cracks started to show.

During grad school, I wrote a paper on the inerrancy of the Bible—and by the end of it, I realized I no longer believed what I was supposed to. At 27, I walked away from the church, my community, and the identity I had built my life around.

The years that followed were filled with grief, disorientation, and deep unlearning. I had to re-parent myself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I used the tools I was trained in—not to fix others—but to finally care for me.

Now, nearly two decades later, I offer spiritual direction to women on a similar path—those untangling religious programming and rebuilding a life that’s actually their own.

If you’re walking through the messy middle, feeling both free and lost, I want you to know:

You’re not too much. You’re not too late. And you’re not alone.

Hi there, I’m Rachael

I didn’t just grow up in church… I grew up inside it.

My family has been in ministry for generations. My great grandmother was a senior pastor in the 1930's, my grandfather was a music pastor, both of my brothers are still in full-time ministry, and even my husband’s family were pastors. Religion wasn’t just something we did, it was kind of the family business.

We were at church at least five times a week. Most of our social life revolved around it. I was pretty sheltered from anything considered “worldly”… and honestly, I loved it. My faith gave me a deep sense of purpose, belonging, and connection. So I did what a good, devoted, slightly intense religious girl does… I went all in.

I went to a Christian college, double majored in Biblical Literature and Christian Ministries, and eventually became an ordained pastor. I even won “Preacher of the Year,” which feels a little ironic now, but at the time it meant everything to me.

But somewhere along the way, things started to feel… off.

In college, I was introduced to Hermeneutics (different ways of interpreting the Bible), and it completely disrupted the black and white world I had built my entire life on. I remember thinking, Wait… there’s more than one way to see this?

I tried to hold it all together. I stayed in ministry. I kept showing up. I kept doing the job I loved. But the cracks didn’t go away. Eventually, I hit a point where I knew I couldn’t keep pretending everything still fit. So I left my church job pastoring and moved to California for grad school.

During my Master’s, while studying psychology, philosophy, and theology and training as a spiritual coach, something unexpected happened… everything I had built my life on started to unravel. Sitting with my clients’ questions forced me to face my own, and little by little, the beliefs I once felt so sure about began to fall away.

It was devastating! 

I spent years feeling untethered, lost, and deeply depressed. Even after I stopped believing, I stayed working in Christian spaces for a long time because it was what I knew and how I supported my family. I lived in that in-between space for years… not fully buying into the theology anymore, but not able to leave the only place I had ever felt at home.

It wasn’t until 2018, when we moved to Colorado, that I finally felt safe enough to let go of all of it. And that’s really when things began to shift.

(is this WAYYY too long?)

Should we make this kind of like the intro video in HWU where we each give our own story, then do a combined...then Happy Whole Way formed section after?