Best Memoirs For Those Who Have Left Fundamentalism

I’m not sure what it is exactly, but hearing other people’s stories of their time in high-demand religion always heals me. Do you find that too?

When people put words to something I’ve felt (but haven’t been able to articulate), I feel like I can finally process it and close the loop. Like it’s no longer this open tab on the desktop of my psyche that quietly drains me.

I think that’s why I love memoirs so much. I read all kinds, but the ones that stay with me are always the ones that reflect something I’ve lived too, especially stories from people who grew up inside high-demand religion and found their way out. So I thought I'd share my favs with you this week in case you are looking for a great book to read!

A Well-Trained Wife  

This book cracked something open for me. The way she exposes patriarchy through her own story is gut wrenching and illuminating. She helped me recognize just how deeply these dynamics were normalized in my religious culture.

Educated

This one is the gold standard for a reason. It’s not just about leaving a fundamentalist Mormon upbringing, it’s about what it costs to question everything you were taught to trust. The tension between loyalty to family and loyalty to yourself is so raw and so real.  Just, wow!

Comedy, Sex, God

This one surprised me. It’s funny (he's a comedian) and easy to read, but also incredibly honest about purity culture, shame, and his search for something more expansive than the version of faith he was given. I found him to be such a kindred spirit and loved this!

Unbelieve

These poems are really easy to digest, but don’t let that fool you. It hits deep! I read it in one sitting in the bath until the water got cold, crying more than once. It captures the quiet unraveling we've all experienced in a profound way.

Those are my favs! But here are even more memoirs that have been recommended inside our community. I haven’t gotten to all of them yet, but I trust they're all amazing.

📖 Shunned: How I Lost My Religion and Found Myself by Linda A. Curtis

📖 Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life by Amber Scorah

📖 Caravan of No Despair: A Memoir of Loss and Transformation by Mirabai Starr

📖 Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story by Julie Rodgers

📖 The Book Of Separation: A Memoir by Tova Mirvis 

📖 Wayward: A Memoir of Spiritual Warfare and Sexual Purity by Alice Greczyn

📖 Growing up Saved: When Loving God Feels Like Losing Yourself by Kristen LaValley

And then of course these memoirs too! They are centered on marriage and relationship changes but contain strong elements of religious deconstruction and are fabulous! 

📖 Awake by Jen Hatmaker

📖 Untamed by Glennon Doyle

 Being a fly on the wall in someone else's world can be so healing for me, but sometimes reading other people’s stories alone in my room just isn’t enough to cut through the isolation that a faith crisis brings. I can underline sentences and dog-ear pages, but close the book and I’m still alone in my room.

A whole different layer of healing opens up for me when I’m actually sitting in a room with other women and feeling understood in real time. Not having to explain myself because everyone else already lived it too. It's a priceless experience that still catches me off guard a little because of how rare it is.

That’s honestly my favorite part of our retreats, spending a whole weekend with women who just get it. Who can hold both the grief and the gratitude I feel without trying to fix it. Who aren’t waiting for me to wrap things up neatly because they intimately understand the messy middle of faith deconstruction. It's such a potent experience, especially when you haven't had spaces like that for a very long time!

If something in you has been craving that kind of connection, do yourself a favor and consider joining us. We have a fall retreat coming up in November in Colorado Springs, and there are still a handful of spots open. We intentionally keep it small so that everyone is fully seen. If you feel that pull, you can read more and save your spot HERE. We'd LOVE to meet you in real life!

If what you’re really wanting is more connection in your everyday life, not just one, epic experience, our community is where we gather regularly to have these kinds of conversations almost every week. 

I’d love to hear from you. What memoirs would you add to this list? Email me at [email protected] and tell me what’s impacted you so I can add it to our giant resource list that you can find HERE.

As always, I'm right there with you!

XOXO,