What Worship Was Really Giving You (and why you might still miss it)

I still remember the first time I went to a “secular” (that word still makes me laugh) concert a year after leaving the Church. There I was, a hot, sweaty mess, singing and dancing my heart out with strangers who, for a moment, felt like friends. We were bonded by the lyrics, moving as one, arms lifted to the music. I stood there, choked up with tears in my eyes, because it was just so beautiful.

And it caught me off guard how much it felt like worship. 

I remember initially feeling confused that I could feel the same way in this setting as I did at church. And then the thought hit me, Wait...could it be that it was never really about the Holy Spirit?

Because there it was again: the goosebumps, the tears, that deep sense of connection, that feeling of being part of something bigger than myself. The very same sensations I used to feel every Sunday morning.

I remember feeling this wave of relief, realizing that the magic I thought lived in the church had been mine all along.

And suddenly, it made sense why I kept going back to my old worship CDs (am I outdating myself here?  😂) after I’d left. I think I was still trying to recreate that feeling, those moments of awe and connection, without realizing that worship music was simply the only way I’d been taught to reach that part of myself.

Back then, I didn’t know there were other ways to meet those basic, human needs. But now I do. And I know that same aliveness can show up anywhere: in laughter with friends, under a big sky full of stars, or in a song that has nothing to do with religion at all. Because what I've learned in my two decades out of fundamentalism is that worship was never about the songs (nor was it just manipulation, either).

It was about what was happening inside of us. The deeply human things.It was about:

• having a space to express big emotions
• the comfort and rhythm of ritual
• belonging to something larger than ourselves
• feeling seen, known, and safe in community

Worship met real needs inside of us. Needs that still exist, even if your beliefs have changed. At Happy Whole U™, we always say that the things you loved and miss about religion were often meeting very human needs--or at least trying to. You just get to find new ways to meet them now; ways that align with who you’re becoming.

The things we miss about our religious past are rarely about the thing itself. It’s the feeling, the connection, and the meaning underneath it all.

Maybe worship gave you a:

• space to be inspired
• way to feel seen
• safe place to emotionally let go.

Whatever it was, those longings are still part of you.

So instead of thinking there’s something wrong with you for missing it (or if you catch yourself going back to those old Christian CDs...er, playlists 😉), try asking yourself:

👉 What need was this meeting in me?
👉 How can I meet that need in a way that feels nourishing to who I am today?

Because what you’re missing isn’t worship itself. It’s the human need it once met.