Finding Community After Leaving Religion

community healing relationships May 15, 2023

"How do I even begin to find community now that I've left the Church?" This is one of the most common questions we get when it comes to leaving high demand religion. It really can be so difficult to leave behind that built in community that church so naturally fostered through:

  • Belonging
  • Unifying beliefs
  • Going deep with others 

Religion was so good at creating that, wasn't it? And part of the grief that comes with leaving your faith is not only having to let go of that community, but accepting that you might not ever recreate a support system quite like it again.

That can, in part, be a good thing because, well, remember when we talked about the unhealthy boundaries that can come with spiritual communities? But for those of us that really miss the community aspect, it can feel scary to not know how to find a new community of your own.

Here are 4 steps for building a community now that you have left your religion, that can empower you to believe that you are still capable of creating something beautiful:

1. ENVISION: Start thinking about what exactly you are looking for. Get intentional and specific. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What do I like?
  • What do I want?
  • What am I looking for?
  • What are my needs?

Think of it like a vision board (maybe even make one or TRY THIS).

2. EXPLORE: Take time to understand yourself now. Make a list of the things about yourself, like:

  • Values
  • Interests/hobbies
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Personality
  • Time commitments 

3. EMBODY: Ask yourself: "What do I need to do now in order to become more of what I'm looking for?"

Do you need to get a little uncomfortable and try new things in order to put yourself out there more? Do you need to make some space in your schedule to explore new hobbies? Create a plan for how you can open yourself up based on what you are looking for. 

4. EXECUTE: Find clubs, groups, accounts, apps (or even start your own!) based on what is important to you now. 



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