The Exhausting Rules of the Religious Good Girl

good girl healing Mar 23, 2023

Did you grow up thinking you needed to be/think/and do everything perfectly, all under the umbrella of your religion? Do these rules sound familiar? 

And now as an adult, we can guarantee you that these rules left you feeling completely exhausted (they are exhausting rules, after all!) You are probably now feeling:

✔️Heavy holding everyone's stuff?
✔️Resentment growing for unmet needs?
✔️Discouraged that you can't get life right?

Though the conditioning of becoming the religious good girl came with a steep price, the good news is that there is something you can still do about it now! You don't have to keep holding this impossible task of being 'good' only through holding these rules. Here are THREE powerful questions to begin the process of understanding what's underneath those rules and how to start handing them back:

  1. What do I think will happen if I am perfect?
  2. What feeling am I actually looking for that I think being perfect will bring me? (safety, belonging, worth, acceptance, etc) Whatever you answer here is a great place to start with understanding your needs better. Let that lead you into:
  3. How can I start bringing more of that into my life and actually give myself those feelings?

Remember, the goal now isn't to become the opposite of who you are. Your next phase of 'healing' isn't to become the bad girl. It's simply to understand how you got here, what the needs are underneath your rules (see the 3 questions above), and how to now effectively give yourself what you need.

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