The Message of Sadness

Have you noticed that you've been feeling tired and sad this time of season, even though it seems like you have “no real reason” to be? Let’s talk about sadness and how it has a way of coming out of the dark when you’re least expecting it. There are many reasons why this time of year hits hard for most of us, especially when we are constantly reminded of:

• The (once loved) traditions of our religious past
• How uncomfortable it is to be around religious family at gatherings
• All the religious symbolism that can feel so triggering
• Uncertainty of how to celebrate the holiday now
• How lonely this journey of a faith transition can feel

Let us remind you that you have lost a lot. You are not being dramatic if you are feeling the deep sadness of those losses. And you are definitely not alone. Unlike how you were probably taught to relate to sadness (that it was a sign of lack of faith in God), the problem isn’t experiencing it. It is a normal, human emotion, and feeling it isn’t a sign that you are doing something incorrectly. The problem is when we try to shut it down and not allowing ourselvesthe room to explore it.

Emotions are simply messengers that want your attention (we have an entire section at Happy Whole U that talks in depth on emotions, how to deprogram what religion taught you about them, and how to build self trust by listening to the messages of them instead. Join us this winter; we still have 4 spots 4 left!). Sadness is simply showing up to tell you that something important to you has been lost.

When we stop and listen to it, we can hear it asking us: What must be honored? What must be released? What are my unshed tears?

One way to start listening to your sadness instead of shutting it out is to learn new reframes when you notice it showing up. Reframes like:

1. I can learn to understand what it feels like in my body and listen to what it’s trying to tell.

2. Feeling sadness does not mean that I’m doing something wrong. 

3. Even if it doesn’t seem like I have anything to be sad about, let me sit with why I feel this way.

4. I can feel sadness and have a conversation with it, without judgment.