How Accountability Turned You Into a Perfectionist

boundaries good girl perfectionism religious programming Jan 08, 2023

If religious environments taught you to constantly take an inventory of yourself so you could confess your sin and be held accountable to your Church family at all times, then know that you were TRAINED to be a perfectionist.  

What religious environments tend to think they are teaching you by confessing your sins regularly is to be accountable to others, remind you that you need a savior, and keep short accounts with God. However, what they are actually teaching us is Hyper-vigilance, Perfectionism, and Poor boundaries (sharing deep secrets with total strangers or those who have not earned your trust).

And now that you have left religion, we bet those patterns are still showing up in your life now as this:

  • Beating yourself up for not healing quick enough
  • Wondering what is wrong with you bc you are still affected by your faith transition
  • Constantly looking for something that can fix you 

How NORMAL of you to be in this pattern still. You’re not crazy. You are just a good girl whose brain is still following the rules she learned to keep her safe. And now that you’ve identified the hamster wheel you’re on, you can finally take a deep breath and get off.


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